Is it possible to be best friends w/ someone you've barely talked to that u don't even truly know yet?
Cuz I do! XD my exchange student is the shiz! She snowboards and skiis and likes theater and stuff. Here's the email she sent me. By the way, it wasn't translated outta french, it was english when i got it. I sent her a bilingual one back. My french writing isn't very good.
Hi Hannah!
I am Isabelle your corespondant. I have just recieve your adress e-mail yesterday by my teacher. I am very happy to meet you soon and your family.
I know nothing about you and i would like to know you hobbies. Do you live far or near your college?
Could you send me your photo and an email please?
So long
ISABELLE XXX

The one i sent back was interesting. I don't remember the exact email, but it involved me saying that I was amazed that she had 6 brothers and sisters and that I only had one who was as loud as six. I also apologized for my french grammar. I must've murdered her language. I am sad I can't send her a pic, being digital camera less and all. I could prally scan one at skool. I just need to find a good one. Difficult task, but i think i can do it.
O and it says on her info sheet that she speaks spanish! Good for Ru and Marley. I'm not aware of anyone else reading this who takes spanish.
Instead of the usual one-liner giggle, i think I'll end this with some Italisized Doctor Octagon rapping :-D
"Doctor Octagon, secret agent/ flying with purple cape/ into the starlight/ oo oo oo tonights the night/ half shark alligator half man/ skin like lilac/ carrying a dead walrus"-Doctor Octagon a funny and amazing rapper.

comments on comments:
Ru-I'll kill everything except the french student because she snowboards
SagenNeil-Dropping honors next year, chem is math with acid, I rationalize chemistry with honors would be hell considering math with honors was hell. Sorry s-dog.
KT-Ur my hero as well :-)
Julie-Cheese is the shiz
Marley-U SUCK! j/k I lurve u.
I got my exchange student's info sheet :-D she has 6 brothers and sisters :-O wow. Urm..theres pictures of all of them at the beach. All of the little kids (including girls) not wearing tops. Just the little girls tho! Isabelle is fully shirted!
Speaking of shady things, chris (my ultra-hot tae kwon do instructor) was teaching us take down tecniques. He practiced on me. He kinda had me on the ground for a few minutes in close contact. I was like :D. He is hotness in a can. He also poked me. It made me giggle.
"Why aren't hamburgers called cow sandwiches?"-my question to the food services guy at the student council meeting.

Rock-a-thon was cool. We were robbed on the decorating contest. Our chair should have won. I think the winner was Rockin at the Beach or something. Bah. We rocked. Literally. Marley and I got our picture taken for the Times Chronicle carrying the chair :-o he took our names down. So theres going to be a big ugly pic of me in the paper. Hahaha if someone vomits when looking on my mug, i am not responsible :-) although I will laugh at them because they get sick too easily.
Then i got home and mom told me to come upstairs to talk to her. She started it with "something happened, and I know you might be angry at me for this". That immediately got me worried. Then she dropped the bomb. She was looking through the websites that have been checked out recently on the computer and saw my blogs address. This one. She thought it was the one I had made for my family. I had already told her explicitly never to read this because I get angry and write things I don't mean. But I gave her the address for the family blog. But she read this one. She read all the way down to the part where I was angry at her and called her a lunatic. What the fuck! I immediately broke down crying when she told me that she did. I swear to god, i never meant for her to see this. I couldn't look at her in the face. She said it was an accident, but I can't believe that. How could she read that many entries and see the comment posts without realizing it was the wrong friggin one! What the hell mom! I know it was an accident, and she would never intentionally do it, but sheesus. And I just cried for an hour straight. She looked so hurt. I felt sick. She said she wants me to tell her when I'm angry at her. She doesn't get it. When I'm angry, I don't want to talk to her. Walter gets angry at her, and I've seen it make her worse. She says she doesn't want to be treated like shes fragile, but she is. She wouldn't be able to take what I have to say. Or what anyone has to say. Look what happened to Langman. But she looks so hurt and paranoid now and It's all my friggin fault this time. I should have known she would have seen this. She said she would never look at it again. But she also asked me if it was a good idea to put this personal stuff in my blog :-o!! wtf. I couldn't clearly dictate it at the time because I was crying so badly, but I tried to tell her this is how I vent and it's been helping me to be able to look back and remember what I thought. I told her that I wouldn't change it. And she looks so hurt. She cares so greatly about her image and what my friends and the teachers at her school think about her. She said to me "from now on, i'm not going to yell at you or daddy". No. I don't want her holding back over this. That will land her back in the friggin hospital. Shes being overly nice to me now because she cares so greatly about what I write in here because shes seen how angry I was. She said she knew I didn't mean half of it, but i know she is still hurt. The only decent thing she tried to get out of this is "I thought I was getting better, but I'm obviously not". I know shes trying to heal. And thats wonderful. But she can't hold back her anger over this. Not for this stuppid blogger thing. Not for me. I'm not worth it.
I'm going to continue to write whatever in here because I can trust her not to go back. She's sick, not evil and manipulative. But I just can't bring myself to talk to her. She doesn't quite understand my need for silence. If I feel like talking, I'll talk. I don't like being probed. Let's hope i never get abducted by aliens :-/.
"Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps"-Erno Philips

80 on the bio test! xD that oughta kick the 75 up a few notches!
Two people are making me angry. Eric Denilio and Matt Bartle. Neither did anything really offensive, but both are being abrasive and annoying and clingy. Euuwak.
Not sure how i'm going to get my math homework done. It's possible that jenna silver or monica has it so I can copy. BUt i might just end up w/ a detention. Grrrr.
I plan on getting some xtra credit in bio. I want to make a video or something. I got xtra credit for breaking a board in half once. I think the video and another board should earn me at least 15 points.
Currently, in library. SUppossed to be working on thesis statement for paper. Paper is "were the crusades justified?" easy. Piece-o-cake. Nothing easier than finding fault in the medieval catholic church. I just need to get around to it.
Still paranoid and fearful when alone. Not sure why anymore. I have gotten maybe 14 hours of sleep in the past week. Set the record straight, it wasn't the movie that scared me sh**less, it was the nightmare. That felt so freaking real.
I fell asleep in french. Thats what happens when you don't sleep at home.
OO! Speaking of french, I am getting an exchange student on april 5th :-D her name is Isabelle Masquin. She is 13. Thats all i know. But it still should be lots of fun. I'm sure most of u will see her.
Rock-a-thon tonight :-D love that stuff. Our chair looks amazing.
"Did you ever find Bugs Bunny attractive when he put on a dress and played a girl bunny?"-Dana Carvey

I think the bio test did ok. Not really sure. Guess I'll haveta find out this morning wont I? >_<.
It's muy early. My eyes are aching for sleep. I spent so much time last night doing that Rock-A-Thon chair. I'm not sure how long I'm gonna last in that. I'll fall asleep right when I start rocking.
I've been extremely darkness-paranoid over the past few days. Sleeping with the lava lamp on or music usually calms me down, but I'm sad that I have to go through the trouble and I can't just find the dark soothing and comftorble like I used to. Now I don't feel safe when I can't see everything that's around me. Its scary with a capital F for fearful.
Ms. Mishel is somewhat high on my list at this point. She is assigning an 100-point xtra credit. I have an 87. I plan on getting an A. So i just need to pull my bio grade up and get that xtra credit in and I'll have only 3 b's. Unless social studies goes up. then 2. Unlikely, but ya never know, do you?
The chair looks awesome. I also ductaped some stuffed ducks to it for comic lineage. My team is me, marley, judah, ashley vernon, emily quinn. We are the builders club team in spirit, but rockin' ductape by name. By the way, for those unawares I have been president of Builder's club since october :-D i <3 builder's club! We get to go places!
"Smoking kills. If you are killed, you lose a very important part of your life."-Brooke Shields on a campaign for non-smoking.

Blergghhhhh.
Big bio test tommorow. Need to study more.
Alyssa came over for dinner :-D! We had some lees hoagies and did homework and Nous regordons American Idol a le television :-) *traduction-We watched american idol on the teevee* We had several ring moments :-/ ewww that movie is sickening me. I swear to god i need to get over it but somehow it screwed with my head so badly! And it doesn't help when my tv goes all staticky when u turn it on and then there was a fly on the screen when we were watching american idol :-o if it had started turning circles or I got a nosebleed or something i would have prally killed something. My house is against me. Berk.
I still haveta decorate my rock a thon chair, ehe. We are the rockin ductape. Guess what the chair's covered in?
Dammit! Nother ring moment. Alyssa just called and this high pitched noise came on and i accidently hung up so it sounded like the high pitched noise called. Ewwwwwwwwwwwww. I hate that movie so much now. It's well done. But too well done. Stupid brain.
So tonights agenda. Study like maniac/work on chair/shower. Ewwewewewewewewewewwewew freaking ring eww.
"I'm not afraid of flying. I'm afraid of crashing."-Maryanne from the Babysitters club after getting on a plane.

(Bangs head on wall repeatedly) ukkk that day sucked.
I have a 75 in bio. I'm missing like 8 assignments. Have to do them all tonight, along with a million other things. And theres a test tommorow in bio. And I need to figure out what the hell I'm doing with math, cuz I don't get any of it. I hate math so much. I actually wrote a freewrite about it during class and I'll post it later. At this point I don't feel like getting it out.
Currently I'm at Mrs. Kennedy's desk using her compy. She's awesome. I just finished one of those unit vocab dealies. Easy. I think. The analogies are extra credit since they are no longer on the SAT's. I still hate math. Math should die in any way shape or form it can. Or at least it should be optional. I know there are people who love it. I don't want to take other peoples joy. But I despise it if i am not going to use it. I think it was no longer necessary after maybe 7th grade. Trig. I'll never need trig. I'm going to be a radio person. I have been feeling sick and angry and nervous all day. Tae kwon do tonight. It better not rain. I have to walk to that. If it starts raining I'll shoot the sky.
I can't explain how sick I feel right now. Pain in my chest. I h8 school sometimes.
Drama was ok. Monique and Erin did a scene from "the bad seed". Sheew. Scary. They are good actresses. Apparently wolfy's been telling every1 about the dead parrot sketch me and Danielle did :-D oooo we rock.
Blargh. Thats the only sound in my stomach right now. Blargh blargh blargh. Kleba was here today. He waved at me. cool beans. Blargh tho. Upndown but mainly down.
"What's smtwtfs?"-my brothers friend looking at a pill organizer for the first time.

I just realized I said some really nasty things about mom in that last post. I was venting rage in the wrong way. Poor lady. I really should just feel sorry for her. I shouldn't blame her for my issues, even if she does add to them. In the end it's my brain that is the problem. I just need to keep in mind that I'm not her. She scares me. She really does. I always hoped she would get better and it just doesn't happen. Sheesh. She's a good person, really. She's just sick. And sometimes I can't figure her out and she starts blaming me for crap I didn't do and overreacting and I just get so angry..
Bleh. Enough about that. It's night again. Who knows? Maybe I might sleep without being afraid that the ring is coming! Sheesus. Why are people good at making movies.
Twas American Idol night. Trenyce did well again. I tried to vote for her, but her line's busy. O well. I'll try again later.
"I can resist everything except temptation.-Oscar Wilde

What kind of a day was that supposed to be. And something tells me it is long from over. By the way this will prally be a record long post, so if you need to use the bathroom, now's the time.
Started with being tired and weird in the head in the morning. Krackel bar for breakfast. Bought the anime tapes off Kristen :-) that was a plus. About half of them need to go because they are dubbed but I'm sure the Tenchi tapes can find a nice foster home somewhere **cough Emily Quinn cough cough**. And then there was Bio. I was so freaking tired at that point i could barely see. And it was a lab period. We did something with classifying nails. Of course it had to be something that reminded me of the ring, sheesus. Nails. going into fingers. eeuuuwwww. French. Highly amusing letter from Benoir, Ms. Mishel's correspondence about the war on iraq. Rough translation "we have nothing against americans, but your president is crazy. We feel that it is silly that you are boycotting us for having a different opinion than your own. Aren't we allowed to have a different opinion? Is it that horrible? The U.N. is important bla bla bla". Cool guy, Benoir is. World Civ. Fell fast asleep and woke up near the end of the period when Lennon was sitting in front of me having a loud argument about war stuff w/ mr broben. That is one hell of an alarm clock. Also took a vocab quiz, which i predict about an 80 for. Study hall in Ms. Kelly's room. Fell asleep on the cushions in the back for character cafe. Cool beans. Lunch-fries and slimfast. yin and yang. Dog and undog. By now I was in a sad/angry mode for no apparent reason. Nother study hall. Drew stuff for english. Talked to wolfy. Awesome lady, wolfy is. Math. I nearly cried this time. freaking 64 on a test. And I have to get it signed. O crap o crap o crap. I can't believe how three days of studying can tank just like that. That putrid, filthy, unworthy, disgusting, HORRIBLE friggin test took my average down 7 points. I am now at an 81.9. Damnit all to hell. English. Muy better. Vocab crud. I have a 93. good for that. I love English. Mrs. Kennedy is an awesome lady.
Then I waltzed up to Abbies thrift shop after skool. The most amazing shopping feat seen in the history of my short sick little life happened in that old-man stenched second-hand hole in the wall. Kate Spade bag for *insert freaking drumroll* 10$!!!! For guys or designer-challenged girls info, Kate Spade makeup cases (Not full sized purse like I bought, a makeup case you could prally fit in a coat pocket) can run from 100-125$. A bag like mine is prally about 250$ or more. I totally cheated the system to death. I also bought some pants and a shirt for the walloping price of 1$ each. Thrift stores are wonderful places. The pants are hysterical. I bought them so I'd have something funny to wear to that hip hop workshop. They prally about 4 sizes too big, black, giant pockets, and I have to roll them like 8 times at the waist. But they look friggin awesome. Especially with the hat. I am thuuuugged out y'all! werd.
Then when I got home, all excited and happy, the shit hit the fan. No, scratch that, the mountain of shit hit an airplaine turbine. The school arranged a meeting with me, Langman, my Dad, and Mrs. Carabelli. And they just HAD to send a confirmation notice about it, addressed to the parents of Hannah Sutin. Guess which member of my family got it first and had a spaz attack? O dear lord. She is out on a walk now to calm herself down. She is now convinced we are all going to talk about her behind her back and is so insanely paranoid and weird towards me that it makes me want to cry or go carrie white on her ass w/ a vegetable peeler. She no longer trusts my dad or me and is convinced that Langman is going to brainwash me and turn me against her. Her reason? "He thinks I'm a psycopath". Name of the goddess! That woman needs to face the music. She is a psycopath. He calls you one because you are one. You are a maniac. I want to yell that in her face. You are a friggin maniac and I'm going to talk about you with langman all I want because you are causing me and everyone else in this family grief! Holy crap! So self centered. I want to see langman about my issues. Not hers. If shes afraid he's going to blame it on her, then tough crap because a large hunk of it is her fault! She doesn't want to believe that then fine. Live in your fantasy world mom. And keep the new shrink you have that tells you lies and gives you pills to make you feel better about yourself. Because I don't wanna friggin talk to him! She is so mad at dad for not telling her. She wonders why he doesn't tell her. Why can't she just step back and see her freaking out about not being told and realize thats why we don't tell her. Sheesus. Lunatic. I look at her sometimes and feel sick.
O well. I want to say I'm used to it, but I'm not. Theres a routine that goes with it of how to act at certain stages, but I'll never be used to it.
"My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."-Jack Nicholson

Question mark, exclamation point, asteris, explicit, explicit, explicit, bleepity bleep.
Hmmph. I watched the ring again. Why the hell did it manage to scare the crap out of me this time? I was fine the first time around now I think I'm going to have a heart attack if a ladder or small childs chair is sitting alone and looking suspicious. If one fly starts doing those circles on my window then it is going to meet my good friend Mr. High-Impact Paper Towel.
I watched some homestarrunner on the compy's at my moms school. They are a helluva lot faster than this ancient mutt I am scribing on.
Blarg. It's night. Last night I had the worst string of nightmares since kindergarden and the white gloves strangling me. Don't ask. But they were all involving the Samara chick from the Ring attacking me in my bed. They all felt extremely real. I kept waking into the dream, still in my bed, then whoops, here she comes again. There was a tv on my bedside table. That was the only difference between my dream room and my real room. I get jibblies just thinking about it. Here they come again. The Jibbly jibblies. Jibbly jibbly jibbly..Anyway. I woke up about four AM and refused to go back to sleep. I just kind of did a fetal curl thing near the back of my bed until the sun rose. Approximately two hours of intense fear. The real sad thing is I wasn't sure If I was dreaming or not so I was really afraid she would come back. Remind me never to watch that movie again before bed.
But anyway today was on the funside I thinks. I went to mom's author-visiting-the-school gig instead of going to school. Barry Louis Polisar his name is. He's like raffi except more potty talk. Anyway I listened to that guy wail for awhile and then managed to get an intense tension headache. I still have it (rams head on keyboard). I got pizza for dinner tonite. I have a crapload of homework to do that I'm not sure If i should even bother. I'll do math, because I get detentions if I don't but other than that I am unsure of the specific worth of effort at this point. For all they know I was sick and unable to do it. Hmmph.
I'm starting to realize that I've been blabbering a bit about my guy situation more than tolerably. It sounds dumb and pathetic when I look back on it. Then again I start doing the mental analogy thing. I compare new relationships to ciggarettes. If you never smoked one, you aren't quite dependent on it now are you? You get what I'm saying. I only went through about a half of one and spat it out cuz I didn't like it. But I've been looking at different brands and getting burned in the process. People are telling me that they aren't that great and I should just stay away from them. But then you look around and a lot of people are doing it and seemingly enjoying themselves and you are intrigued by the idea. And you want to start. But you can't.
Geez what a way to get off on a tangent. Relationships are much cleaner than ciggarettes. I think I'm just starting to become slightly bitter about the whole affair.
"If you cannot read this, please ask the flight attendant for assistance."-excerpted from the USAir safety pamphlet.

Christian? Me? Who knows anymore.
Went to KT and Julias youth group. I'm a quasi-member now methinks. Its a weird thought in my head considering how many times I knock ancient christians for doing things to witches and jews. But these guys are alright. And I know in the end we are all praying to the same god no matter what.
But I'm not sure how long I'd be able to keep into it should I join. What should I say when they question about my parents, celebrating Hannukah, and all the wiccan sabbats? My extreeemely firm belief in reincarnation? My belief in godesses? But honestly, I think it would be good for me. Christianity is another religion Eclectic Wiccanisim (my religion) draws from. Virgin mary is regarded as a mother godess. God is still the same power. It's just seen in different lights and not interpreted by a set bible. It also isn't pressed on others. So I think I will do it. I will not do services, but the youth group thing couldn't be anything but good. I know in my heart i would never be able to fully accept christianity though. Everytime I go to one of those things I'm generally ok until prayers. Then I feel a bit uncomfortable and fake. Like I'm lying. To who though? God? I know I'm not lying to the gods and godesses. Prayer is feeling, not words. More like the people around me who don't quite know who I am. I just need to reach a point in myself where I can not give a damn about what they think. Then I can move along in peace of mind. I just need to root out whatever guilt i think is there and kill it. I'm not betraying my jewish/wiccan heritage if i simply don't believe what I'm saying.
I think I might start taking some classes or join a circle at aphrodites dove. If I have irrational feelings about betraying wiccanisim, I'll just have to be more wiccan, now won't I? Not a problem. Beltane's coming up in May :-D!!! Can't wait! My favorite holiday ever. It's May 1st or May Day. You celebrate flowers and the summer/spring season. It's great! Theres festivals and such going on in new hope. I always wear flowers all over myself and give people flowers. It is the most fun holiday ever created :-D!
"My Karma ran over my Dogma"-Bumper sticker

Beaautiful day! Too bad I have housework leering at me >_< good morning out though!
I left my house around 8:45 to get myself some breakfast at the grocery store up the street. I got a danish and some hot chocolate. Then it occured to me that I should check what Abbie's Thrift Shop's hours were since I need to ask if I can volunteer there. So I walked up there to look at the sign in the window. Then I looked across the street at the hospital and remembered that one of my teachers was in there with twins that were having complications. She isn't actually due until late April/Early May I believe. So I went to visit her. It took me awhile to find the room, floor, and building. But after THAT little goose chase, I realized that visiting hours were 11-5. It was only 9:50. Double damn. Sat in the courtyard for 10 min finishing my breakfast, and trying to figure out how to kill the next hour. Then I remembered that Abington Presbyerterian was a mere two blocks away. Being their favorite lackey, I decided to crash god's party :-D. I walked there and went in. I had extremely good timing. They were between services AND my friend Julia was cutting sunday school :-D so I hung out with her in the church's library on some beanbag chairs. Sadly, KT was in sunday skool along with everyone else. I was invited to a fellowship thing. I might just do that. I don't get to see u enuf KT :-(. Then I slid back over to the hospital. Mrs Bradley was asleep. I left her a note with one of the nurses. I proceeded then to get lost in the hospital for about a half an hour. I found an exit finally and now I am in da house.
Apparently my poem is good. I'm often yelled at for wanting to be a radio child when I have talent potential in other areas. O well. And by the way KT ur poetry is great! You just don't have enough time to write these days. Prove urself with chapter 2 3/4 in zzyzzlewhig honey! WOOT I BELIEVE IN YOU!
"Marry me and I'll never look at another horse!"-Groucho Marx